The Guilty Parent
Nothing quite comes close to the kind of love that a parent can give a child. Once you become a parent, you can't go back. Limitations on the responsibilities you had in life, blow away. All of the sudden you have this other little person to take care of—24/7. It does not fade as years pass on and the joys and sadness of a child become your own, well into adulthood.
So when a person finds themselves in the horrifying position of having a child that is addicted to a substance, unfortunately, the emotions parents already feel are intensified and life can become a reactive, anxiety fearful rollercoaster, a real waking nightmare.
Part of our free onsite assessment is to talk to the parents and family of the addict separately, to learn what has been occurring over the years. It is a chance for the parent or family to finally communicate all those years of emotions. Trying to ’hold it all in’ can become very hard and can often be very wearing physically. Also, 9 times out of 10, we find the family trail off and ask ’where did I go wrong’?
There are circumstances in life that are exceptional where someone has lived through painful tragedies and the addict has had an extremely rough time as a child and survived trauma.
Mostly, however, the addict has been raised in a loving family who have done the best they could to parent in the most successful way they knew how. To begin to try and lay blame on you as a parent is fruitless and gives no responsibility to the person using drugs.
Part of the road to recovery and achieving real lasting sobriety for the person undergoing treatment is a newfound understanding that they are responsible for their condition in life as it is now. This is what we want to achieve through the program steps, to slowly get a person to the point where they can have ’epiphanies’ or realizations about themselves and about life and take responsibility for the path their life has taken. Then a newfound sense of responsibility can grow as well as morale and wellbeing.
If you find yourself feeling something like this as a parent or family member, please call us. We can listen to your situation, give helpful advice and help you to make a plan to get your loved one into rehab and on the road to recovery.